There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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