he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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