Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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