butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
