also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
