Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
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