Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize