Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
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