I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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