Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
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It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
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I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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