i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize