My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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