I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize