u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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