I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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