Got a toothbrush?
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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