I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
