i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
