At least make sure they are 18
Why
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
