FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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