i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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