She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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