that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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