Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
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Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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