My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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