i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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