dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i love accidental penises.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Damn victory sex feels great
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
