My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
