At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
