So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize