my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
