I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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