At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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