you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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