The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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