Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
