Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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