do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
