sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
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We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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