google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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