She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
