The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize