After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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