Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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