i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
