I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
