I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
