It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
