There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
