i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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