I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
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The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
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I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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