Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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