Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
