I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
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