and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
