69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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