dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
