I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
