Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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