But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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